My son will never know what it’s like to smoke a joint with me. Nor will he ever be allowed to have a member of the opposite sex in his bedroom with the door closed. Those things were allowed in my home when I was young. I have long since forgiven my beloved mom for these things that I once believed were cool, but as I matured, came to realize they damaged my teenage soul.
Fast-forward to when Christ came into my life at twenty-three. I was pregnant with my son. This little man was now going to be growing up in a Christian home!
I must admit I am slightly jealous of him. He will not just be learning about when and how he should have sex from his friends at school, he will be hearing what God has to say about it. He will not be hanging out late at night with people handing him hits of acid behind a movie theater because I am too strict for that. When he recently asked me if he can have a girlfriend, I looked my thirteen year old in the eyes and said, “No, invite her to youth group.”
I question myself constantly. Ever since he was little the Holy Spirit would instruct me as I raised him. I read about spanking in the bible and believed it to be truth but I was so confused on the execution. Than one day when my boy was almost three, he hit me, told me no, and threw a toy at me all at the same moment. Very gently, yet with divine authority, I felt the Lord speak into my being, “Now is the time to spank him.”
I calmly told my son he may not treat me that way and gave him three hard whacks on the butt. He stood there perplexed. My guess is that he was shocked I showed him who was in charge- and it wasn’t him. He thought for a minute and than the tears and loud crying came. I consoled him and told him he may not hit and throw stuff at me. Worked like a charm. He learned that he may not walk all over me. Satan the counterfeiter would have loved to teach my son to rule over me so his life would be easier to ruin as an adult.
I have had to apologize to my son many times through the years. I believe it shows him that I am a real person. However, I have always reminded him of God’s expectation that he is to honor me with obedience. In doing that, I would remind him also of God’s promise to bless him and give him a long life.
I have been immersed in depravity and than rescued from practicing many sins. Yet I wonder about my son. I am proud of him. His heart is compassionate. He is funny and genuinely loves people. He has a very strong sense of right and wrong. I wonder though, will his relationship with the Lord be deep? Will he have to trudge through willful valley’s of sin and wickedness in his life? Will he decide to reject what I have taught him? I am content not to know these answers at this moment, but when these answers unfold, I will be relying on the Lord and trusting him to guide me, just as I did when my son was three.
My God is faithful. That I know. What I also know is that I have the power to influence, I have the power to parent, but as he is nearing maturity, I may not control him. God wouldn’t have it any other way.